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The Ways in Which I Am Like My Mother

The resemblance is uncanny when you compare our actions side by side.

I’ve tried to hide it.

Concealed it in a tomb.

From the womb I was destined to be just like her.

My mother.

The ways in which I am like my mother is that we love with everything we have and in return are given only second handed love.We give and give and give… and give, and give, and give.

Never asking for much.

Words of affirmation that only settle a fraction of our restlessness.

Receiving a reward is not required, nor has it ever been, but a kiss. A touch. Some goddamn time, for crying out loud.

Attention.

The words saying, “I love you,” even if it’s 1000 times a day.

Other ways in which I am like my mother is that we give up all freedom for love.

We lose ourselves in it.

Drown deep in its depths.

Only coming up for sporadic breaths.

Always cleaning up after some hairy little mess.

Always trying to look our best, but not feeling it.

Not pleased with the bodies we were born with.

Not proud of the scars that were torn into flesh.

Not necessarily settling for less, but less than everyone else says we deserve.

Not that either of us have said anything about it on our own.

Working hard to make ends meet.

Trying to feel warmth underneath the sheets we lie under with each of our loves.

Wondering, always wondering, and wondering, and wondering if we will ever be good enough.

Insecurities grab our throats and choke us.

Staying calm against all the things life throws to break us.

Growing strong from the things that make us who we are.

Still not proud of all the scars but show them off like trophies anyways, because… At least we have something to show.

Judged for the skin we are in, and color has nothing to do with it.

We are as white as the snow and still people show no mercy on their judgements.

The resemblance is uncanny.

We don’t look alike, but we love people the same way.

We walk to the same drum beat.

We trip over our own feet.

Stumbling and coming to a halt hoping that one day something good will come of it all.

These are the ways in which I am just like my mother.

In love, insane, and doing things the only way we know how.

It’s obvious that the resemblance is uncanny when you compare us side by side.

Uncanny, but not by aesthetics, but by actions.

Just trying to gain our footing, maybe get some traction.

It’s in bold like a newspaper caption.

These are the ways in which I am just like my mother.

Starving for love and to just feel alive.

 

© Donovan G. Ward

Poetry

Donovan Ward from CWP View All →

I am attending college online with Grand Canyon University (GCU) for an English Teaching degree for Secondary Education. The first question I was asked when I made the decision to embark on this journey to be a teacher was, "Why do you want to be a teacher?" My response: "It is not for the money." Regardless, I am looking forward to being a teacher and am on this blog as part of a college course. I have written (never published) books and poetry of all kinds and have a love for writing in general. I have never done a blog before so we will see how this goes. Let's do this!

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